Color Me by Number

Five-A-Day Confections 

On the first day of Deshain my host family gave to me: a sacred blend of five cow products. Milk, curd, unrefined butter (so far so good, right?)… and urine and manure. I learned many months ago that such a mixture exists and is consumed during certain Hindu rituals, but there is another holy delicious concoction also made of five ingredients with a similar name that I’d previously had on similar occasions. What I’d just put in my mouth was no gustatory delight—I knew what I’d done the instant it touched my lips and ran out of the room gagging. I might have thrown up, but I hadn’t eaten anything yet that morning. It’s good for digestion, my host brother claimed between bouts of laughter (though I could just as well have been laughing at him—he’d taken it knowingly). A few days later, a good Nepali friend (a science student/Hindu priest explained that because cows have such a superior digestive system, eating the aftermath of their digestion bestows that advantage upon the consumer. Still not buying it.

Four Newborn Felines

My family’s cat had a litter of four kittens! They are adorable, but that doesn’t stop my host mother from smacking them on the head when they come too close to the milk jug.

Three Tummy Drugs 

Nine months of documented intermittent gastrointestinal discomfort, ten stool samples, two blood draws, and a full abdominal ultrasound. All were inconclusive, save for the test for one pesky little bacterium called Heliobacter pylori, which had given me some problems back in the seventh grade. With a regimen of a couple antibiotics and a PPI, along with some dietary selectivity, I’ve been relatively symptom-free for the past month. Here’s to being completely healthy in year two! Wait, what’s that…

Two Pink Eyes 

My host sister got conjunctivitis last week, which within a few days spread to one and then both of my eyes—just in time for Deshain! The priest who performed my family’s Deshain ceremony warned me that pink eye can spread just by looking an infected person in the eyes, which several other people reiterated over the next couple of days.

My face at the end of Deshain celebrations. That’s as much as my eyes would open!

And a Consanguineous Runaway Bride 

While I was away, my youngest host sister (who lives in the U.S. but has been on holiday in Nepal for the past three months) eloped. People—especially women—in the village have been gossiping about it a lot, asking me whether she’s come home and whether my family is angry with her. I was curious too. Here’s how my conversation with my host mom went.

“Aamaa, Binita bahini Deshainma yaahaa auchha?” (Mother, will Binita sister come here for Deshain?)

“Nai, aabaa Kathmanduma baschha.” (No, now she’ll stay in Kathmandu.)

“Kina?” (How come?)

“Hami dherai risayeko chau.” (We’re very angry with her.)

“Kati samaya ko laagi risaaunuhunchha?” (For how much time will you be angry?)

“Dui barsa samma” (For two years).